Moving back home is everyone’s dream. Right?
No, no and no. And when I mean move back home, I don’t mean moving back to your home town. I mean opening the front door to mom and dad’s house.
I never, ever thought I would be back at my parent’s house living in my old bedroom. At one point, the thought of having to live back at home made me angry, upset and extremely frustrated.
Has a situation forced you to move back home? Check out what brought me back home.
I’m here to tell you, it’s going to be OK.
Deal with the IMPORTANT problems first
I had to move back home when I left my ex. The thought of not having my “own” place anymore just about destroyed me. I was so focused and determined on finding my own apartment, I wasn’t spending the time to deal with the emotions, anger and fears that were built up inside of me. Sometimes we think it can be easier to mask our problems by moving forward instead of being present. (Been there, done that!) But hear me out. So let’s say I got a place by myself. I’m happy, excited and feel accomplished. THEN. Then, the problems that I need to deal with become more in my face than ever before. And now I’m alone. When a situation brings you back home or living with a friend, it is so important to take advantage of the support and love of the people you are with. Looking back, living with my parents was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I needed that extra support and most of all, I needed to keep myself surrounded by people. I honestly don’t know what type of place I would have been in if I was by myself.
Never Turn Down a Free Meal
I’m not saying to take advantage of your parents but I am saying take what they offer! When I first moved back home I decided that I would continue to cook my own meals. My bedroom is what’s supposed to be an in-law apartment (kinda) so I have a small kitchen area. There would be weeks where I would see my parents only a handful of times, even with living in the same house. Now, we enjoy dinner as a family every night and talk about each of our days. It brings me back to when I was in school and my mom made sure that we all sat down at the table and had dinner together. I also don’t love cooking, so I love coming home to a hot meal every night. Thanks Mom! My parents wanted to help me and I am sure whatever situation you might be in – they want to help you too. Let them. Have dinner instead of ordering take out. Enjoy the conversation and company at dinner. If they have allowed you to come back home, you are not being an inconvenience.
You Haven’t Failed
I took moving back home as a big “F” on my report card. It made me feel like anything I had ever worked hard for vanished in thin air. The reality was, it didn’t. I was still me – a hard worker, motivated, caring person. Just because I had taken one step backwards didn’t mean everything about me had to take a step backwards too. I recently told a friend, you are you. You are not so and so’s best friend or so and so’s girlfriend. You are you. Achievements or failures – it doesn’t matter. Neither of those should change who you are. So yes, you moved back home. Big flippin’ deal! If you ask me, it’s the smartest thing you will ever do. (I mean, I’m not saying stay forever though!)
While reading this, you probably started to catch on that I am in a much better spot now than when I first moved back home. I am no longer embarrassed or ashamed. Want to know why? Because no one else matters except me. And if I ever feel that I need to explain myself – I go into my long story of marriage, buying a house, blah, blah, blah and divorce. That usually stops someone from asking anymore questions. It was in my best interest during that time to leave my situation and to be back home with my parents. It hasn’t always been easy but I am 100% certain that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I tried to live on my own right away. I look forward to the future and opportunities that I will have but right now I am completely content with where I am.
It’s going to be okay.
Remember, this is temporary.
Soon enough you will be out on your own again.
Enjoy the company.
Go on an extra vacation. (or two)